


You Thought I Was Happy (And I'm Getting There...  Slowly)

by Karlethandra_Merthensa



Series: You Thought I Was Happy [10]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blackwatch Genji (Normal Looking), Blackwatch Hanzo, Blackwatch Jesse - Freeform, Confessions about Sex, Hanzo was a naughty child, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, M/M, Nightmares, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 06:04:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11526087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karlethandra_Merthensa/pseuds/Karlethandra_Merthensa
Summary: “Why would you give everything up for someone you’ve only been with for a short while?”Confessions that break siblings, Tear inducing Nightmares, Heart felt conversations...  These poor boys don't get a break it seems...But...  It's starting to look brighter for our favorite match.





	You Thought I Was Happy (And I'm Getting There...  Slowly)

**Author's Note:**

> YO! 
> 
> Sorry this took for FUCK ever. Work is a bitch, haha.
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy!!!!

Hanzo sighed softly as Genji stared silently at him.  He knew Genji would have a… Reaction to the news of him and Jesse dating, but this was a bit ridiculous.  It’d been five minutes and Genji still hasn’t said anything, or even moved.

“I think you broke him.” Lena said, gently poking Genji’s plated cheek.  The cyborg didn’t even budge.

“I think I did as well.” Hanzo muttered, his brow furrowing as he pinched the bridge of his nose.  He then released the bridge to instead reach up and tap his index finger to Genji’s plated forehead.  The metal dinked slightly with the two quick taps, but he still didn’t move, “Hey, Genji!  It’s not that shocking, brother.  I can tell you a lot more shocking than that.”

Lena quickly became intrigued, “Oooooo, like what?”

Hanzo shrugged gently, “Well, you know how Genji and I are Shimadas’, Shimada crime family and all of that?” Lena nodded, and Hanzo reached up to rub the back of his neck heavily, “Well, Genji was always the playboy, the one who never listened to father and would rather go to the Arcade and chase girls than study and practice his swordplay.  On the other side of the spectrum, there I was early for study sessions, and practicing my skills late into the night.  What no one knew, however, is that I wasn’t much better than Genji.”

Lena blinked, “Wait, what?  You, like, when to the Arcade and such?”

Hanzo shrugged, “Occasionally.  I was friends with the owner, and he let me and his son play late at night when no one was around…  Although he didn’t know that we didn’t just play with the games.” His cheeks turned a soft shade of pink at admitting the fact.

Lena’s jaw dropped and she let out a squeak of surprise.  It took her a moment, but she finally stuttered out, “W-wait, you mean you were getting it on in an arcade?”

Hanzo chuckled at that, “Yes, I was, uh,” He coughed gently into his fist, “‘getting it on in an arcade’ as you so adequately put it.”

Lena ran a hand through her hair in shock, “H-How old were you.”

Hanzo frowned, “I think, like, fourteen?”

She let out a louder squeak of shock, “You were fourteen and having sex?”   
“It wasn’t all the way.  That didn’t happen until I was sixteen, but it was the same guy.” Hanzo replied, the pink growing a bit stronger.

Lena shook her head, her eyes the size of silver dollars because she was so damn shocked.  Hanzo would have found it incredibly funny, if he hadn’t just admitted he was fucking around when he was fourteen.

The story seemed to do the trick for getting Genji back into reality, however, because he fell backwards.  Hanzo began forwards with a worried look in his eyes but stopped as the Cyborg held up a hand.  He was lying flat on his back, and his chest swelled as he took a deep breath, “Not only did you fuck around with my then best friend,” Hanzo cringed at that, “You’re now fucking around with my  _ now _ best friend.”

“Dating and fucking around are two different things-”

“And to top it all off you scolded me for playing video games instead of studying and my pursuits instead of practicing.”

“See, I could still do that because you did it when you were supposed to be doing other things.  I still did what was required of me-”

“You were having variations of sex when you were fourteen!” Genji exclaimed, suddenly on his feet and gripping Hanzo’s shoulders.  The archer was a deep shade of red now.  Lena was on the ground, curled in on herself as she all but died of laughter.

“He did?” A new voice asked.  Hanzo let out an undignified squeak that he would  _ heavily _ deny later as Genji released his shoulders and a arm wrapped around them instead.  Cigar smoke, whiskey and gunpowder filled his nose and Hanzo’s face burned so red it hurt.

“I-I may have.” Hanzo coughed awkwardly.  He looked up to see a mischievously grinning Jesse McCree and the archer couldn’t stop himself from melting into the gunslinger’s side.

“Oooooh, Hanzo!” Genji squealed, “You’re so cute!”

“Genji, you are such a little shit.” Hanzo grumbled, snuggling against Jesse’s side more.

Lena and Genji laughed at the words, and awed at he action for Jesse cut in, “I hate ta do this with how much fun y’all’re havin’, but I need ta steal Hanzo fer a bit.  Got some thin’s to do, and need ‘is help with ‘em.” He then quickly added, “An’ it’s not like that, ya’ pervs.” He pointed a finger at both of them, his eyes narrowing as they both held their hands up.

“Have fun~!” Lena called after them as Hanzo was lead out of the room by the beefcake that was his boyfriend.

Hanzo gave a half assed wave goodbye, rolling his eyes at their laughter and let himself be led towards Jesse’s room.  He didn’t think much of it, especially considering it’s where he and Jesse found themselves hanging out more than not because of everyone always annoying them when they wanted nothing more than to just lay there in each other’s arms and read, sleep or watch TV.

Hanzo however thought a lot more of it when Jesse closed the door and instantly buried his face in the crook of the smaller man’s neck.  His shoulder’s shook with soft sobs, and Hanzo’s heart broke at the feeling.  He gently lead the larger man to the bed and laid him down, letting him hug him tightly as Hanzo pulled him close to his chest.  

“It’s alright, Jesse.” Hanzo whispered softly, pressing kisses into his love's hair, “It’s okay.” Jesse clutched him tighter, and Hanzo pressed his cheek to Jesse’s hair, “It was about me, wasn’t it.” He asked gently.  Jesse nodded, a sob breaking through him roughly.  Hanzo ran his fingers through Jesse’s hair, an act that seemed to calm the cowboy a bit, and gently said, “Put your ear to my chest, my dear.  My heart still beats.”

Jesse did as he was told, listening to the steady beats of Hanzo’s heart as images from his nightmare danced in his head.  Silence ensued for about a minute before Jesse broke out, “I didn’t get to you in time.”

Hanzo hummed softly, “That night in the tower?”  The gunslinger nodded, pressed his ear harder to the archer’s chest, making the sound he so desperately needed to hear louder.

“They found you, a few miles away washed up on a beach…  You were blue, and waterlogged…  Genji…  Genji blamed me for it.”

Hanzo pulled Jesse to him tighter, holding his breath for a few seconds to make his heart rate speed up a bit, “You and I both know he would never.” Hanzo whispered reassuringly, “He would be sad, yes, but he would  _ never _ blame you Jesse…  And he’ll never even have the opportunity to, because I’m not going anywhere.”

Silence ensued once more.  Hanzo went back to stroking Jesse’s soft hair as the man listened to his heart.  Slowly, Jesse’s eyes fluttered with tiredness and he slowly slipped into unconsciousness, but Hanzo stayed wide awake.  His heart hurt as his mind screamed at him.

_ “You gave him more nightmares, you baka!  And you are supposed to love him?  You’ve hurt him more than anything!  You heard him, he was so afraid in the nightmare that Genji blamed him!  You ruined him!” _

__ He gripped Jesse tightly, pressing his lips to the crown of his head as tears slipped down his cheeks, “I’m sorry, baby…” He whispered, “I didn’t mean to hurt you…”

His mind continued to yell at him.  Calling him names, calling him useless, calling him a failure.

“ _ He is yours to protect and yet here you are, having to make up for what you already failed doing!” _

__ With these thoughts swirling in his head, Hanzo closed his eyes tightly, pulling Jesse tighter to him.

He didn’t know how much time passed, but at some point he fell into a fitful sleep. Before he knew it he was being woken up by soft fingers on his cheeks.  His eyes fluttered opened to be met with soft brown eyes.  He smiled gently, “Jesse.” He greeted, softly.

“What’re the tears about, darlin’?” Jesse replied gently.  Hanzo sighed softly and closed his eyes as a soft thumb stroked his cheek.  He wanted nothing but to melt into the touch, but apparently Jesse wasn’t going to let it go, “C’mon, darlin’, talk to me.”

Hanzo shook his head softly, “It doesn’t matter.” He said.

Jesse sat up, pulling Hanzo with him, “‘Course it does, Han.  If it made you cry, it matters.”  Hanzo gave no reply, just allowed himself to be pulled up before falling forwards for his forehead to press into Jesse’s chest.  The gunslinger racked his brain, before it clicked.

“It was my nightmare that made you cry, wasn’t it.” It wasn’t even a question.  Hanzo’s eyes squeezed tighter, and Jesse gently ran his hands over his back.

“I give you nightmares, Jesse, because of things I’ve done.” Hanzo replied, his voice cracking slightly.

“All my life I’ve had nightmares, baby.” Jesse soothed, “If being with you adds a little, I’m  _ okay _ with that.  No relationship doesn’t have a few bumps.”

“A healthy relationship doesn’t involve your significant other having nightmares about you killing yourself.  I’m surprised you didn’t push me away after the first one before we were together.” Hanzo replied sharply, but Jesse could feel the slight shake of silent sobs as he continued to rub his hands across the archers back.

This went on few a few moments before Jesse ducked his head to gently kiss the back of Hanzo’s head, “Baby doll, look at me.” He said softly.  When Hanzo didn’t remove, he said it a bit more forcefully, but his voice more full of love than before.  Finally the archer lifted his gaze, his eyes red and wet with tears.  Jesse cupped the sides of his face and kissed his forehead, “I will never,” He kissed his left cheek, “Ever,” He kissed his right cheek, “leave you,” He kissed his nose, “Even if it meant my life.” 

Hanzo looked at Jesse with a confused gaze, “Why would you give everything up for someone you’ve only been with for a short while?”

“Because while we’ve been official for a lil’ bit, I have been with you in my mind for what feels like years, darlin’.  I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you and now you  _ are _ mine.  Mine to love, mine to cherish, mine to hold in the night, mine to sing lullabies to, mine to wake up with kisses, mine to grab and dance with if I want, mine to  _ love _ .” He moved forwards and gently placed their lips together in a kiss.  It was salty, much like their first kiss, but Jesse couldn’t have cared less.

He finally pulled back and looked at Hanzo, whose eyes were closed as he pulled his lower lip in between his top and bottom teeth.  It took him a moment but he finally opened his eyes, “How could you want someone so broken?” He finally asked.  He wasn’t giving up, and Jesse knew without a doubt it wasn’t because he didn’t want Jesse, it’s that he didn’t want to  _ hurt _ Jesse, and was trying to figure out why the gunslinger would allow himself to be hurt.

“Because darlin’, I’m broken too, but I’m thinkin’ maybe we can take our pieces, and make one thing whole.”

Hanzo stared at him for a long moment before a wet chuckle escaped him.  The back of his wrist came up to his mouth as he gave his little chuckles, and he finally said, “Oh my- You are the biggest sap, Jesse McCree.”

Jesse smiled brightly, “Only for you, Hanzo Shimada.”

Hanzo hummed slightly, the dark haunted look in his eyes easing slightly as he leaned his head into the hand still on his face, “I wonder which of our names will change.” He said.

Jesse felt his heart hammer harder in his chest, “Whatcha mean, doll?”

“When we get married, obviously.”

Jesse stammered slightly, a loud blush coming to his face as he rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, and stroked Hanzo’s cheek with the other, “Well, I uh, well darlin’, I suppose, suppose it would- Ya’ know, I ain’t got no damn clue.”

Hanzo let out a soft laugh again, closing his eyes as he nuzzled the hand still stroking his cheek, “Jesse Shimada.” He frowned, “Hanzo McCree.” His brow furrowed.

“Jesse and Hanzo Shimada-McCree.” Jesse tried.

Hanzo opened his eyes, his brow smoothing as his lips quirked into a smile, “Yes…  That one is the one.”

Jesse felt his heart swell at the look, and gently pulled Hanzo to him before he laid them back down on the bed.

“Um, Jesse?  Isn’t it already eight o’clock?  Don’t we have training?”   
“Gabe’ll understand.” Jesse replied, pulling the covers up and cover them, before pulling the smaller man flush against him, “And if he doesn’t? Oh well.  It’s the first training we’ve ever missed.  It’ll be fine.”   
“Everyone is going to die today, and we’ll miss it.” Hanzo stated.

“A price I’m willing to pay.” Jesse replied cheerfully.

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all.
> 
> Fuckin' REAPZO.
> 
> THIS SHIT IS FUCKIN' GOOD. REAPER/HANZO IS THE SHIT, MAN. 
> 
> Like, not McHanzo level shit, but IT'S THE SHIT.
> 
> Like seriously. It's some good shit.
> 
> But McHanzo is still life. Anyways, I hope you enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyed. Again, I'm sorry it took so long!


End file.
